她活出坚毅,勇敢和果断:有信仰的人生
冯志强(Jonathan Fon)
结缡卅六载,惜生死分离日远,盼天堂重逢见近 ——忆吾妻周苇苇
1983 年 5 月 20 日下午,我和苇苇跨出上海的一幢政府大楼,成了夫妻。我们直接走进附近一所冰淇淋店,你甜我蜜,分享香草冰淇淋和掼奶油。嘴上甜,心里也甜。她取笑我,说:你这样娶了我,真便宜了你。
她父母是医务工作者。她有一个弟弟。她学习上总是盖住他。她考取男生占优势的工程专业课程,成绩俱佳,是优秀的本科毕业生。
我们俩都生在上海。她的一位同事,也是我大学同学的侄女,介绍我们认识。苇苇在上海的一所技工学校当老师。我在外地一所大学教书,距离上海有八小时的火车旅程。我们结婚后,直到我来到多伦多,分居两地有四年时间。逢上长周末,我可以搭夜班火车来上海团聚,寒暑假就在上海团聚。
1992年,我来到加拿大。 1994年,我在多伦多基督徒之家受洗。 1995 年,我们一家三口团聚定居多伦多后,我们的儿子得到了完整体面的家庭生活,并且有很好的教育机会。我们夫妻再次走进大学课堂,为在多伦多就业热身。 1997年,母子两人前后在多伦多华人基督教会国语堂受洗,归入主内。
苇苇在一个星期五考完最后一门课,下一个星期一,立即开始上班,担任项目经理助理。她连续在大多伦多地区几家机械公司工作,一直从事同样的工作。
即便到了今天,我还是弄不清,她是认真地,还是在开玩笑地,说过,要说她爱我吧,她说更爱她父亲。她经常提醒我,她父亲曾经读过一封我写给她的情书,十分赞赏我的文笔。说来算我幸运,她父亲鼓励她和我走下去。
苇苇最喜欢跟孩子搞在一起了。活泼可爱的孩子在她面前走过,她总会要求孩子的父母停一停,让她同孩子讲讲话,玩耍一番。她会拿出碰巧随身携带的小玩意儿,漂亮的发夹或胸针,送他们。
我们有一个孩子。妈妈哄儿子睡觉时,读故事,念诵诗歌。在儿子十岁出头的时候,娘儿俩通宵达旦,拼搭3D 拼图模型。儿子跟从妈妈的专业方向,在多伦多大学攻读工程科学专业,直到读了一年博士课程,不读了,寻工作去了。现在,他和太太女儿定居在美国矽谷。他和他的太太在多大本部校园团契认识,同负一轭,在校园事工。他们在赴美前结为连理。
不管在她有病或没病的时期,我们的孙女,Chloe 始终是奶奶心头的一颗开心果,眼前的一缕阳光。无论是仅有的几次相聚,还是视频上的多次交谈,奶奶和孙女之间的欢语笑声总是不断,特别招人注意。 Chloe的笑声清脆。奶奶总会在欢乐之余,跑来爷爷跟前,拿腔拿调模仿孙女的童言稚语和笑声,逗爷爷开心。
2018 年 2 月,她被诊断出患有乳腺癌,但她没有被险恶的三阴性病情镇住。苇苇在积极接受治疗的同时,还在互联网上自学绘画。病情的难忍和药物的副作用给她带来了沉重的苦行,而她毅力非凡地在网上自学自娱绘画课程,帮助她克服痛苦,尤其帮助她坚强地管理自己情绪。她始终祈求来自神的平安,操练顺服的心,迎接人生旅途的归依。不时地,她鼓励我勇敢面对她的患疾,期待我会坚强面对。
在抗癌治病的三年中,她的画作展现出一种不可思议的艺术境界,显示出令人惊叹的线条和色彩的调配;更重要的是,那些习作展示了她令人肃然起敬的品质:坚毅,勇敢和果断。
2020 年 10 月 25 日,星期日下午,生命体征在她身上渐渐褪去。我俯身吻着她的额头,抚摸她的臂膊,在她耳旁喃喃地说:“你打了一场漂亮的仗,你赢了。你好勇敢!我们都爱你!”我吞咽下她吐出的最后一口气。
She Lived a Life of Perseverance, Courageand Determination, Sourced from Faith
In Memory of My Loving and Loved Wife, Wei Wei Zhou
We committed carrying a 36-year wedlock. A heaven reunion is promised approaching in wake of the life and death farewell.
On the afternoon of May 20,1983, Wei and I walked out of a Shanghai government building as husband and wife. Right after, we went straight to an ice cream parlor to share a vanilla bar and milk shake. She teased me that, when it came time for wedding presents, I got a good bargain.
Her parents both were medical workers. Wei had a brother. She always beat him up. She was an excellent undergraduate in a male-dominant engineering program at university.
Both of us were born in Shanghai. We were introduced to each other by Wei’s colleague who was niece of one university fellow of mine. Wei taught at a mechanical institute in Shanghai. I was an instructor in a university that was eight hours away by train. In our early marriage, we had a long-distance relationship. I spent long weekends riding on the train bound for Shanghai to join her. On school vacations, we had chance to join together in Shanghai. We lived a part for four years after being married but before moving to Toronto.
In 1992, I came to Canada. I was baptized at Toronto Christ’s Congregation in 1994. Once we settled in1995, we earned a reunited life and better education for our son. We both became college students, enrolling at Humber College. In 1997, the mother and son were successionally baptized at Toronto Mandarin Chinese Community Church.
She started work as assistant to the project manager, immediately after finishing her last examination. She worked in several mechanical companies in GTA but stayed in the same area.
Up till present, I still hardly tell whether she said it seriously or jokingly that she loved her father more than me. She often reminded me that he chanced to read one of my love letters to her and admired it. Luckily for me, he encouraged her to go with me on the life course.
It is children that Wei loved most. When she saw lovely children passing by, she’d stop to ask the parents if she could briefly entertain them. She’d give them ornaments she happened to be carrying, beautiful hairpins or brooches.
We had one child, TK. She read him stories and murmured rhymes before bedtime. In his early teens, they built 3D puzzles together through the night. Following her, he studied engineering, getting a post graduate degree from the University of Toronto. Now he lives with his family in Silicon Valley. He and his wife came to know each other on UFT downtown campus when they volunteered with the Mandarin Christian Campus Fellowship. TK is one of its founders. They married before they went together to the US.
Chloe, our granddaughter, remained her ray of sunshine from her time of health to time of sickness. Whether it was in person or at an online meeting, they had a good time. Chloe’s laughter was always crisp. She’d repeat her childish words and mimic her laughing to entertain me after those talks.
In February2018, she was diagnosed with breast cancer but would not let the illness define her. While receiving the medical treatments, Wei took up drawing by tutoring herself on the Internet. The side- effects of the drugs took a toll on her, and the drawing therapy helped her overcome those hardships and, especially, helped her manage her emotions. She always prayed God for peace in mind, strength to exercise obedience, and reliance upon God’s will for the destination. Also, she encouraged me to be strong in face of her illness, to defeat it but not to be defeated.
Over the following three years, her drawings revealed an uncanny perspective, showing tuning line- and color-arrangements, but most of all, demonstrating her best qualities: perseverance, courage and determination.
On Sunday afternoon of October 25, 2020, she was slowly going away. I kissed her forehead, caressed her arms, and murmured, “You fought a beautiful battle and won it. You are brave. We all love you.”I inhaled her last breath, deeply and quietly, quietly.